The Record Crate

Concert Review - WFNX's Miracle on Tremont Street

When I first saw this holiday show advertised, I two things came to mind:

1. FNX puts on the best radio shows of all time, though they seem to have terrible reception just about everywhere
2. Passion Pit, Phoenix AND Spoon on the same bill? I’m there

At first I was surprised at how the line up went on stage. They put Passion Pit first? The hometown band is playing FIRST? That’s like playing the National Anthem before America wins the 2010 World Cup (what?)

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They're Playing Our Song

I’ve decided that the only thing anyone can rely on anymore is music. Think about it. Those cheesy family moments when your parents would get nostalgic…it wasn’t because of that stanky perfume your Mom bought your Dad that got regifted secretly in an office yankee swap.

When our parents were young, they had “songs.” This isn’t me saying that the music industry has ceased to produce actual music (though I could produce a pretty convincing argument for that point), instead I’m referring to their generation using songs as audio “road signs.” Our parents have songs that remind them of happier times, like the first dance at their wedding, the birth of their first child, even when your Dad gave your Mom the time in the backseat of his car. All of these points in history are accompanied by song. Think about this: Why don’t couples have “a song” anymore? Because it’s played out-or so it seems. We’ve grown up in a generation that wants to identify with their parents’ generation as little as possible. Whether or not we realize it, we’ve also gotten rid of the sentimental value of music.

I’m not sure anyone realizes it yet, maybe I’m one of the first few. Music’s the only stable thing in our lives right now. Think about what’s predicted to happen in 2012. The Earth’s crust is rumored to eventually destabilize, changing the poles, creating volcanoes and clusterfucking everything. I feel like that’s happening to society already. The economy is our “earth’s crust.” Recently, we’ve seen our economy implode taking with it the stock market and the number of jobs available to the American people- the “North” and “South” poles. As a result of this, emotional relationships have become strained. Friendships, marriages, girl-on-the-side’s, etc. For better of worse, these relationships are forever changed-like the earth’s surface.

Once things cool down, people will want to return to how things once were. Be it getting a new job, a new wife or a new 401k, everyone will long for a sense of normalcy. However, it’s not going to be there. You know what will be? Music. When things are bad and when things are good, the music’s always going to be the same. Sooner or later, we will embrace the concept of “having songs.” Think back to why your parents get all cuddly when they hear “their song.” For those three minutes, their relationship is back in its infant stage. Their love is 3 days old. It’s the best it’s ever going to be. They feel young again. We as a race need songs. We need them to remind ourselves of why we are who we are and why our lives are the way they are. When you’re 80 and you hear that old “Two Weeks” MP3 on your space age computer, you’ll be reminded of the time you drove home after graduating college because the economy couldn’t support a job for you. Maybe you’ll hear that Top-40 song from 2005 and remember the night you graduated High School. You’ll hear the songs that your band used to cover in your basement.

Regardless of how unlike our parents’ generation we have striven to become, we have to embrace one thing they’ve gotten right: They’ve embraced music. It’s time we did the same.

Start with this Dan Deacon Remix Featuring the GZA. Salvador Santana - Keyboard City

Adam Lambert - Who Really Cares?

In case you were wondering, it’s 2009. In a couple short months, it will be 2010. Yet, the general public still has a problem defining the “Gay Line.” That is, what’s appropriate for two girls to do and what’s appropriate for 2 guys to do seems to be vastly different. Last time I checked, whether it be two guys or two girls, gay is gay.

This is the huge argument surrounding Adam Lambert’s recent performance at the AMAs. I’ve heard it coming from all ends. Either what he did was supremely inappropriate, or completely tolerable. The general consensus says that what he did (i.e. snorkling another dude, kissing another dude, dragging a girl around by her leg) was uncalled for on TV. Here’s my bottom line…I completely agree.

I’m tired of people comparing Lambert’s performance to Madonna kissing Brittney. THEY ONLY KISSED. The only comparable thing between these two raunchy performances, is that they involved parties of the same sex. Much less, the whole Brittney kiss lasted maybe 2 seconds. Lambert’s performance went on for a full 3 and a half minutes, or however his shitty music lasts.

I have no problem with same sex activity. Not my personal preference, but whatever makes your meat loaf, ya dig? I have a problem with people creating a new topic of controversy on top on something that’s completely unrelated. I can understand why Lambert was booted from Good Morning America. The issue here isn’t guy-on-guy, versus girl-on-girl. Watch popular American television for an hour on any given night. Chances are, you’ll see two chicks or two dudes lock lips. I think the American public is mature enough to handle two people kissing, regardless of their respective genders. The controversy here, is the peep show garbage in Lambert’s performance. However, I’m only one person. I’ll probably be called a homophobe by someone for writing this, but as I say in just about every post, I really could care less about what you think. This is America. We still have free speech (at least for now). But then again, that could be another level of the whole debacle. Was Lambert’s performance just an enhanced free speech demonstration?

The Beatles Are Not Rock 'N' Roll

Someone grab the lynching rope, it’s about to get ugly. The following words may offend a lot of you, but in all honesty I could care less. It’s my opinion and if you didn’t want to know it you didn’t have to read The Record Crate in the first place. But now that I have your attention, I have an important news bulletin:

The Beatles Are Not A Rock ‘N’ Roll Band

Now that I’ve got you all good and pissed off, allow me to explain myself. We’ve grown up in a time where Rock ‘N’ Roll music has been defined to many extremes. On one end, you have 40 year-old anti-piracy “Metal Heads,” still trying to re-live their twenties and on the other end you’ve got three promise ring wearing boners anxiously awaiting to break into their twenties. There’s just no common ground anymore. Think about all of the bands that have been called Rock bands in the past and all of the bands that are considered the same now: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Police, Styx, Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, The Jonas Brothers, Good Charlotte (in order from most legit to least).

These bands have all played to sold out crowds and had panties flung at them. Awesome. By the definition of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll these bands have it in the bag. But not the Beatles. Nope. Not even close. People enjoy listening to their music. They enjoy dancing to their music. Shit…a video game (that makes a mockery of everything related to music, I might add) has paid tribute to them. I guess Metallica got the same treatment, but the music they play these days has been used as a torture method in Gitmo (or so I’ve heard).

By today’s standard, Rock music can not and should not be “danced” to. Whoever made that rule should be burned at the stake. Every school dance I ever went to was DJ-ed by some middle aged bro looking for some extra snatch-er-I mean cash. Not only that, he didn’t know the first thing about good music. I’ve always wanted to go to a dance and hear a live band play good music to dance to. The problem is, no live band will degrade themselves enough to play songs like “Barbie Girl.” In fact, that’s not a problem at all. It’s like built in birth control for our ears. Thanks guys.

Back in the day, people danced to the Beatles. This was happening even before they were THE Beatles. Back in germany, when they were a bunch of English schmucks playing dance tunes for the sons of Hitler Youth (oooooohhhhhh…still too soon?). While traditionalists may consider The Beatles a Rock band, no one in their right mind would do so today.

It’s not that I think The Beatles are soft, I just don’t think The Fray is all that hard.

Back to Take Over The Globe

I’ve started a Mash-Up project titled Red Rover, Red Rover. Check it out. The first track is titled “Don’t Stop Snappin’.”

An Ice Box Where My Heart Used To Be

I thought I was in a rut. Nope. The entire world is in a rut. I haven’t posted any essays on here in a while. Please understand that it’s not that I don’t want to, but there’s nothing that elates (or pisses me off) enough to make me want to spend a bunch of time writing it on here. Instead, here’s a song everyone should hear and digest. It’s the new Vampire Weekend song. A very natural progression and I’m proud to say that I’m a huge fan. The bridge reminds me of that song from The Little Mermaid “Under The Sea.” So?

Vampire Weekend - Horchata

Super Smash Indos.

I honestly had begun to question the testicular fortitude of today’s musicians. When was the last time two musicians that had a legit problem with each other settled it in such a way that the rest of the world could point, stare and judgmentally shake our heads at. I remember once when I went to a local radio show, that band Story of the Year were playing. Their faces looked like they’d just been used as punching bags for a De La Hoya training session. The previous day, they had the snot kicked out of them by Godsmack. I’ve always hated Godsmack and I still do. However, what I appreciate about them is that they’re human. Instead of throwing money and power around to solve their problems, they let their fists do the talking. Just like any regular blue-collar folk would do.

I read quotes from musicians all the time who want to say something back-handed to someone else (more often than not it’s towards the Jonas Brothers. To those musicians, I say pick on someone with your same sexual activity). So back a few months, when I saw the lead singer of the Black Lips Jared Swilley ask Nathan Williams of Wavves to quit playing music forever, I didn’t think it would amount to anything beyond a funny quote made by a dude who fronts a band that’s not much better than his target.

Wrong.

It’s been a long time since beef between musicians has been taken to the mattress-or at least a beef that mattered. I hearken back to a time known as the 1990s. Biggie. Tupac. Neither should have gone. IT WASN’T THEIR TIME.

But I digress.

I’m not condoning violence in any way whatsoever. All I’m saying is that two rockers fighting adds a certain element to rock music. Something that makes the lyrics people sing seem more alive than they would have had a fight not taken place. The cool thing about this fight is that it wasn’t at any fancy club, it wasn’t in Vegas and no guns were involved. Truth be told, the only solid fact is that some dude (allegedly Wavves’ road manager) smashed a bottle on Swilley’s face and a fight ensued. Some people (and by people I mean Williams and Co.) say that the two brawled. Others (Swilley and his crony pals), say that Williams wasn’t even involved. Here’s what I don’t care about: what actually happened. Vague details are enough for me in this case. All I have to say is one thing: THE ROCK STAR ATTITUDE IS BACK.